The Awesomest Intro Ever

If I had this intro every time I entered a room, I'd want at least 5 people to faint like they do for Michael Jackson at his concerts. Preferably the should be girls, but if one was a guy, that would be okay too.

So, we have a universe born Polar Bear wielding a giant hockey stick. It's pure awesomeness blows up the moon when it flies by. It's blows up Anchorage! The bear slowly gets smaller and smaller so it can fit into the stadium. All to the soundtrack of TOP GUN and Metallica!

Is this not AWESOME?

In Russia They...

...use jet rockets to shovel the snow.

These, of course, are driven by Russian bear's who have been trained to blast anything that is white. So don't where you white snow pants to work on the morning after a huge snow storm.

"It's a snowblower. Or better said, a snow melter. The ones above use Klimov VK-1 engines from Mig-15 planes. The one from Tuesday could have been the engine from a Mig-17. They also use these to melt ice on other planes engines--while waiting on the cold Russian airport runways" - Gizmodo

I approve.

Is this not AWESOME?

Bears and You, What You Should Know

There are some things that naturally don't mix. Oil and water, cats and water, me and vegetables, etc. But sometimes mother nature throws a curve ball.

Bears, I'm talking about bears.

How come I was never notified that bears could be household pets!? Who wouldn't want a pet BEAR as a kid?! There is injustice in the world and it must be stopped. Every kid should know that yes, yes you can have a pet bear.

Here's the best part, you can train your bear to go and get groceries for you.

You don't even need to worry about correct change, because who's going to argue with a bear?

*Update*
So I've just been informed that it's only in Russia you can have a pet bear. NO, No you can't has pet bear Chris. ...Suck

Is this not AWESOME?

Flying Sharks, and Flying Bears Too!

Science has yet again provided another way.

There's been sightings of half bird, half miniature shark bear, flying death bringers. Police say the best defense is to carry around a BB gun. The bites are deadly to small animals local to the park, but humans shouldn't worry and should carry around a package of medium sized band-aids.

Is this not AWESOME?

T Shirts I Want

Here are the next gems to go into my Awesomest Shirts Ever Collection. These will go nicely with my Animals with Eye Patches shirt.

YES.

Even more YES.

Tears of happiness, YES.

All of these shirts and more can be found at TopatoCo.com. I also suggest checking out the Raptor Bandit Industries apparel if you're a fan of Dr. McNinja.

Is this not AWESOME?