The Most Epic Movie Ever

Why not? That's all I have to ask before you watch this trailer.

So let me get this straight. This movie is about Explosions, War, People who don't want to die, Ninjas, Robots, Vampires, Werewolves, Wizards, Warriors, Rockets, Space, The Earth, more explosions, Folks with crossbows, Nazis, Aliens, UFC Fighters, Hot Chicks, Magic Balls with stars in them, Jets, USA, even more explosions, missles, the beginning, the end, a lot of people with their mouths open screaming, fast cars, black angels, babes, muscles, and finally EXPLOSIONS! Did I miss anything? WAIT! yes I did, ZOMBIES!

The title of this movie will be, "I AM SO AWESOME!" That is a direct quote from me while I was watching, "This Is It" the Michael Jackson movie.

"Included in the video are: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, The Lightning Thief, Babylon A.D., Knowing, Sherlock Holmes, Death Race, The Uninvited, Max Payne, The Fast and the Furious, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Midnight Meat Train, Quarantine, 2012, Ninja Assasin, New Moon, Whiteout, Final Destination, Daybreakers, Race to Witch Mountain, Moon, Inglourious Basterds, The Box, Obsessed, Friday the 13th, Star Trek, Terminator Salvation, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Watchmen, Dragonball, The Spirit, Carriers, Bangkok Dangerous, District 9, Surrogate, The Book of Eli, Mirrors, The Happening, Fighting, The Road, Angels & Demons, Jennifer's Body, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Pineapple Express, The Last House on the Left, The Haunting in Connecticut, Shutter Island, Sorority Row and two (we think) Russian films we couldn't identify." - scifiwire.com

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Conspiracy

What does Sonic The Hedgehog and Michael Jackson have in common? No, this is not a pedophile joke. But strangely enough they have a lot more in common that I wish I knew as a kid who was raised on Michael Jackson hits. Check this out!

"According to an interview in the French magazine Black & White—the "official magazine of Michael Jackson"—Jackson's composer and musical director Brad Buxer says Michael was responsible for some of Sonic 3's compositions. The themes that appear in Sonic 3 and some of Jackson's own songs are not a coincidence.

As for Sega and Sonic the Hedgehog lead Yuji Naka's caginess about confirming Jackson's involvement? This may be your answer.

"And if he is not credited for composing the music, it's because he was not happy with the result sound coming out of the console," Buxer said. "At the time, game consoles did not allow an optimal sound reproduction, and Michael found it frustrating. He did not want to be associated with a product that devalued his music..." - Kotaku

You can listen yourself here. I would embed the video but dude asked that people don't.

Also...

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Bozo vs. Blobby

The Saturday morning cartoon lineup in America when I was a kid never included Bozo The Clown. I don't ever remember running home from school to watch it either. But I would have if it was like this.

Mr. Blobby, can it get any more original than this. Dude looks like a wonder bread bag filled with pepto-bismol. A complete trainwreck that you just can't look away from. Bozo, you should have crashed through more doors, then maybe I would've paid attention to you.

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I Want A Dog Not A Cat

Recently I've gotten the comment that I must really like cats because I always post about cats. WRONG! I only post about cats because, well look at them! What is going on in their head!? Really I want a dog. That can do this.

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Keep Being Awesome

Facts that aren't true whatsoever are awesome. For example, yesterday, I was getting my hair cut and I said to the girl cutting my hair as I took of my glasses that I was trusting her because I can't see anything without them on. She then informed me that I should eat carrots.

"That's true" I said, "They have beta..."

Suddenly she interrupts me and said, "If you cut a carrot in half and look at the cut end it looks like an iris, that's why we know they are good for your eyes!"

"Who's we?" I ask.

"My sister in law, she read all about it, she only buys organic foods." She explains.

"Let me guess, is she a vegetarian too?" I ask.

"YEAH! how did you know!?" She surprisingly questioned.

"Just a lucky guess." I exaggerate

"Walnuts are good for your lungs because they are the shape of lungs!" She states.

"They also look like brains, are they good for your brains?" I exaggerate again.

"They probably are! I'll ask her!" She wonders.

She then proceeds to give me a head massage. It was the weirdest hair cut I've ever had.

So, in review, what lessons have we learned? Carrots are good for your eyes cause the look like an iris when chopped in half, walnuts are good for you lungs and probably your brains (we are still waiting for the verdict from sister in law), and I bet you 10 bucks kidney beans are good for your kidnies.

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Cat Fight

This would be a lot cooler set to this music.

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What Happens When You Give a Kid A Really Cool Batman Costume?

Violence against mothers is wrong. I just want to make sure we all understand this.

Apparently a good number of crazy people who take on alternate identities choose batman as that identity. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

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Birthday Defense

Birthday can be a very joyous time. But they can also be a very dangerous time.

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Geography Correction

9th grade was the year I learned that I actually didn't have to pay attention in class. Good thing, cause everything I learned in 9th grade geography has been either proven wrong or never been process in my mind since. BUT, something has recently been discovered. More proof that T Rex is still the coolest dinosaur and still the king of dinosaurs.

Well duh, of course the earth likes T Rex, and would want to pay tribute to his sheer awesomeness.

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Play That Keyboard Cat

Have you ever seen this...

and thought, WTF is that and why is it in every dang video I watch on youtube? Well sadly there is no answer to that question.

There is however, a great way to waste your time.

Made by Tubbypaws, this bad boy masterpiece took me about three hours to make. If you follow the instructions, unlike I did, it shouldn't take you too long.

See!

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High Five

Some people same this isn't the best way to greet or part ways with the opposite sex. I disagree.

The high five is a celebratory gesture, usually executed by two people at a time. The gesture is currently most commonly employed to communicate mutual satisfaction between spectators and between participants alike, during a sporting event, or to extend congratulations from one person to another in any informal setting.

To properly execute a high five, each person raises a hand to make contact, or slap, the opposing raised hand of the other. If the initiator offers the right hand, the partner offers the right hand, as one would with a traditional handshake. The hand and arm are usually extended in an upward fashion to form the "high" part, and the palms of each hand make physical contact in final execution of the gesture. The usual and ordinary five fingers of the human hand equal "five" in number, hence the name "high five". - Wikipedia

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The Awesomest Intro Ever

If I had this intro every time I entered a room, I'd want at least 5 people to faint like they do for Michael Jackson at his concerts. Preferably the should be girls, but if one was a guy, that would be okay too.

So, we have a universe born Polar Bear wielding a giant hockey stick. It's pure awesomeness blows up the moon when it flies by. It's blows up Anchorage! The bear slowly gets smaller and smaller so it can fit into the stadium. All to the soundtrack of TOP GUN and Metallica!

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Etch - A - Jackson

Holy crap this guy is GOOD!

George Viosich III., the genius behind what is known to kids as the Etch - A - Sketch. Anybody try and draw something on those things? Yeah, I've successfully drawn a square. No, make that a rectangle, cause even a perfect square is hard to pull off. But no, George here doesn't stop at the rectangle, he has to draw Michael Jackson, or tons others.

Don't believe this is real? Check out this video.

Here's his site for any other amazing things he might do.

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The Greatest Keytar Player In The World!

Has this become a lost art? Something only nostalgia can bring back? Cause dang this guy rocks!

I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of the keytar.

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Icetris

Originally, the game Tetris was inspired by ice cubes from Russia. The Russians used these ice cubes to make steps and climb over big walls. When the ice melted, it would really confuse the bad guys, cause all they would see is a really big wall and a puddle of water! They'd be all like, "What? How? this is a mystery."

You can buy these awesome ice trays from Attack Mode for only $15.00! That is, when they get the next batch ordered. They sold out immediately.

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Swearing

This, and girls.

To my biological brother and sisters, "Eat blue-shell and DIE!!! Love you guys."

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Be Prepared For Anything!

Action could happen at any moment. I mean ANY moment! But there is a solution.

I only hope that Chuck Norris still promotes these. Cause dang he looks good in those action jeans!

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Music Videos Make Sense?

Does anyone else think it's odd that musicians make music videos that have absolutely nothing to do with their song?

This guy does too, but he actually does something about it.

Loser: Literal Video Version - watch more funny videos

I'd like to see a rob zombie music video literally sang.

You can find a bunch more of these awesome vids here.

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Practise Makes Perfect

Because we all know there is a zombie apocalypse coming, duh. They are preparing just as much as we are/should be. So I present you with this.

Zombie targets for the range!

Law Enforcement Targets, inc. presents the coolest thing since guns were invented.

"They are shambling your way in full color. Targets are a ghoulish 23"x35" in size. Each target includes scoring zones and supplemental brain targets!" - LET

Let's all take a moment and get out our credit cards, our children depend on this.

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Things That Should'nt Go Together

This last months I've been trying to beat the original Contra on NES without dying once. I got all the way to the final boss, you know, the alien heart that spits out alien spiders. Before I could get the last bullet in, I DIES!!!! I was so close!
So to relieve my pain, I present this.

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