Baby Bad Ass

This is not right, but yet it's so right.

Oh thank goodness, they are FDA Approved! Which means that all my little babies will be sporting Rock Flag and Eagle tattoos to show how proud I am of America and NASCAR.

Here is where you can find them. And by "you" I mean Sam. You know you want to buy these.

Is this not AWESOME?

Pimp My Ride: Pirates

What pirate wouldn't want to pick up their wenches in this bad boy?

Yes, it's a limo, and to answer your other question, yes, it does. All you pirates out there are lucky! It's on sale, and you can buy it here. Guys, please be aware that this will greatly improve your chances with every lady. Especially when worn with this. Ladies, if you see this driving down the road, don't resist. It's natural.

Product Description as found on the web site: It has 6 mega speakers and large amplifiers that will blow your socks off. The pirate ship was built on the chassis 10 years ago by a local pirate.

Now if that's not a "BUY ME NOW" product description, I don't know what is! Plus the limo has a very attractive, but protective, bumper.

Is this not AWESOME?

Global Warming, Pirates, and Drugs

Finally I get it. Thanks Cher and Kanye for making the singing robot voice so very popular.

Here's more if you want.

Is this not AWESOME?

The 1st Bday party I ever had

I knew at the age of 1 that big burly mustaches were awesome. So obviously I would've suggested that we celebrated them along with my first birthday. The next year was a pirate theme, the year after that a ninja theme, and the year after that was spacemen!

More please? If you dare.

Is this not AWESOME?